Down Days

When you have been ill in some way and you have been thrown off the normal track of life for such a period of time a depression sets in. The last two days have been very rough for me. I can't even explain all the feelings I'm going through right now. I physically and emotional have hit bottom. I now know what my patients go through when they just break out into tears for any ol reason. There becomes a time when things start to become stagnant. Michael has done his best at keeping me occupied but for some reason the last two days all i have done is just slept or listened to music and cried. The independence i once had and was very proud of has all gone away. I'm still very dependent on others for many things. The boredom and the ability to not do things on my own or at all are getting to me. I feel like my life is so unstable with my job, Michael not working, this house being sold, and deciding to buy a house or wait out to see what happens to this house. My life seems to be crumbling little bits at a time. I'm trying my hardest to stay busy but i get tired easy, either pain or nauseated, and bored. I haven't really dealt much with a depressed state like this so i'm not sure what to even do with my self. I feel foolish for even crying over what seems like something i would normally stand tall to. Anyways enough about my ridiculous emotions. physically i'm doing better step by step. I'm going longer periods of time with out pain pills and slowly starting to do things for my self. I am so grateful Michael has been off work because i couldn't have done it without him. He really keeps me going and we still laugh at the moments we share every day. He truly keeps me focused and has given me great hope in these last two days. I have really enjoyed my time at home with the kids as well, before my injury I was working at least 50 hours a week so my time was limited with them. I am humbled by all that is going on and remind myself all this is happening for a reason.