Michael rarely leaves me alone due to the first while i needed 24 hour care but I'm up and at em so he has left me a few time for a half hour to hour. Last night he went to dinner with his daughter who he hasn't seen in a while so he was gone for about 4 hours. I was doing great spending a wonderful mother daughter night with Sid. We were just about to end the night with her brushing her teeth and giving Michael a good night call. She was brushing and I went down stairs to grab a water before bed. I some how managed to fall down 4-5 stairs and land on hard on my behind. Sidney comes running around the corner with fear of mom are you ok? I gathered my self and was able to get up. Sidney is the cutest thing! First thing she does, calls Michael to tell on me! He's trained her well. I was having some tingling but it went away a short while after. Today my a** bone hurts and my neck is a little sore but we are going strong still.
I am wanting to get back to a normal work schedule and get my body use to all the walking i do at work. So me and Michael went to the gym today and i walked a whole mile! LOL Things are starting to get better. I'm not constantly sleeping and I'm able to go all day with out any sorts of pill concoctions. At night is my usual pill dosage when i need something for sleep and pain. I've even stopped taking the second dose in the middle of the night. I feel things are starting to improve health wise. House and other things are a little different situation. Any who...
Michael has been a wreck since my fall and has called just about everyone to tattle on me! So the story is don't wear slippers going down the stairs!
Us
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Doctor Update
I went to the doctor last Wednesday and he told me some good news that i didn't really want to hear. I don't have to have surgery but i get to wear this great neck brace for another 6 weeks. My questions to him were all about when can i go to work and when am i all healed like a normal person. He did release me to light duty which i haven't heard from my employer yet but i wasn't injured on the job so they have no obligation to do light duty for me. He took my brace off to see if i could turn my neck and i was unable to do so because of fear and pain. We left the office with an exact 6 week appt. I was down, but Michael asked me what i thought he was going to tell me. I wasn't sure maybe that i was miraculously healed and i could take my brace off and go to work! He's right i should be thankful i don't have to have surgery and that i am walking, breathing and alive. I guess i can handle another 6 weeks at which point he told me we would either take my brace off completely or slowly remove it. He said i will definitely need physical therapy. I have babied one side of my neck and so my x-rays show my neck curved.
I have my times where i am annoyed to hear people say that's good you don't have to have surgery and are so joyful. These people have no idea what it is like to be in this brace. I went from supporting my family working 50-60 hours a weeks to someone who couldn't even shower or turn over by them selves. I am not one to ask for help nor am i to rely on someone. I know i should be grateful which i am, just frustrated at times.
The weeks are counting down and I'm loving the time with my family. So i'm not sure what else i will have to write on my neck injury since it's now just a waiting healing game for a bit. I will count with you all until April 29th.
I have my times where i am annoyed to hear people say that's good you don't have to have surgery and are so joyful. These people have no idea what it is like to be in this brace. I went from supporting my family working 50-60 hours a weeks to someone who couldn't even shower or turn over by them selves. I am not one to ask for help nor am i to rely on someone. I know i should be grateful which i am, just frustrated at times.
The weeks are counting down and I'm loving the time with my family. So i'm not sure what else i will have to write on my neck injury since it's now just a waiting healing game for a bit. I will count with you all until April 29th.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Down Days
When you have been ill in some way and you have been thrown off the normal track of life for such a period of time a depression sets in. The last two days have been very rough for me. I can't even explain all the feelings I'm going through right now. I physically and emotional have hit bottom. I now know what my patients go through when they just break out into tears for any ol reason. There becomes a time when things start to become stagnant. Michael has done his best at keeping me occupied but for some reason the last two days all i have done is just slept or listened to music and cried. The independence i once had and was very proud of has all gone away. I'm still very dependent on others for many things. The boredom and the ability to not do things on my own or at all are getting to me. I feel like my life is so unstable with my job, Michael not working, this house being sold, and deciding to buy a house or wait out to see what happens to this house. My life seems to be crumbling little bits at a time. I'm trying my hardest to stay busy but i get tired easy, either pain or nauseated, and bored. I haven't really dealt much with a depressed state like this so i'm not sure what to even do with my self. I feel foolish for even crying over what seems like something i would normally stand tall to. Anyways enough about my ridiculous emotions. physically i'm doing better step by step. I'm going longer periods of time with out pain pills and slowly starting to do things for my self. I am so grateful Michael has been off work because i couldn't have done it without him. He really keeps me going and we still laugh at the moments we share every day. He truly keeps me focused and has given me great hope in these last two days. I have really enjoyed my time at home with the kids as well, before my injury I was working at least 50 hours a week so my time was limited with them. I am humbled by all that is going on and remind myself all this is happening for a reason.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
It's been a few days!
I'm actually a little more mobile these days and I can go in the car more. It has helped with the feeling of being cooped up and bored. The first long drive was to bountiful to my work which i got very sick in the car. BUT i didn't throw up. I now don't just lay in my bed and stare at the ceiling. I get up every day and walk carefully around and sit in the front room with everyone else. I do spend most of my time in my room due to the fact we have everything set up so that i can reach it all. I'm starting to be able to get up and down by myself on certain sides of the bed and chair. The left part of my neck is much weaker. Michael is able to get more things done and isn't running his tail off. He is still my drill sargent nurse who watches over me like a hawk. I look forward to march 17 everyday. I so badly want to go to work! I've been over doing it the last few days. So then in the morning i am so stiff i can't get out of bed. I am feeling so lucky to be alive and not paralyzed. But the irritation of not being able to do everything i want and getting so tired so easily is frustrating. Not only all the medical things going on but the irate things with this house is almost scarier. I know that this will make me stronger and my relationship with michael is even closer. i hope together we can make it through this struggle that we have been faced with. We have been in happy spirits and laugh at the simplest things every day. We are so appreciative to the family and friends who help do that.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
When it rain it pours
Yesterday I get a text, yeah a text from my landlords asking if we could talk. I of course said yes because i have nothing on my agenda but lay in my bed. So she proceeds to tell me that they are losing the house and wants to know if we want to buy the house. WOW! You may know that i have been the provider in my family since about Oct when Michael's company decided to do some changes and his contract was up. He got a small package and has been home ever since. He has been the greatest house dad EVER! He does everything from cleaning, cooking, the grocery shopping, running the family errands and all! So i haven't minded working cause he has done a great job at home. NOW with my neck injury i'm not sure what we are going to do. This house issue couldn't have come at a worse time. We have some major choices and hard decisions to make. I haven 't really loved this house and was actually thinking i didn't want it but michael did remind me that you usually don't run out and buy your dream home. I start again, looking at the potential this house has and realized it could be possible to do some fun upgrades and then sale this house in a better market. THEN i could have my dream home. I have this problem of having ZERO patiences though. I have a lot on my mind as i lay in my bed! I wish i could go back to work!
Monday, February 23, 2009
Daily Trials
Sunday
Sunday was a little on the rough side. I slept for a lot of the day which really isn't rough but i got sick which is never fun. Think of it this way....Have u ever thrown up facing forward and not being able to look down at the toilet. Ya it doesn't work so well. So i ended my conversation on the telephone and promptly yelled for michael. He helped me off the couch and then looked at the situation of me standing by the toilet. I think he realized he would be the one cleaning it if i missed so he thought quickly and grabbed a bowel. Throwing up isn't so fun when your neck already hurts. I went back to bed and that was the extent of me going down stairs.
My aunt Karen visited which was nice to see a new face instead of the ceiling. She brought me some good ol fruit to help with the wonderful constipation issue. Man i've never been constipated and hope to not ever be again. I've been taking stool softeners like they are candy and that didn't do the trick either so yesterday while we were at the pharmacy we picked up some milk of mag. That stuff is amazingly chalky but just like the bottle says produces work in 30 mins to 6 hours. The rest of sunday was uneventful!
Monday 1 week after the accident
I got a little sleep do to the fact i have this new friend called valium. I slept like a champ until it was time for sid's report. I thought i could pull myself together enough to sit through a wild animal report that she has done so good on. So my wardrobe consists of things that don't go over my head. tube top or tank top? i found a matching sweat outfit (with a tank top under neath and a zip up jacket) and pulled my hair what i could reach back into a pony tail. Daily task such as brushing your teeth are challenges that sure make things interesting. I think michael got tired of wiping the sink off so he grabbed me a cup to spit in so it was a for sure hit. The neck collar guy came again and bought me the new style of the week. A miami J collar. That's right i'm sporting the new and improved hot shit on the block. It's silk instead of the rough foam. And for better immobilization the collar goes clear down to the middle of my chest. I now have a collection of collars if you would like to borrow one! Today the depression seems to be setting in. I feel very useless, depend on everyone to help me, and bored. I hate relying on someone to do everything.....sit me up, lay me down, shower me, food, pick up my tampon i dropped, u name it I need help with it. Michael expresses to me very well that he loves doing all these things for me and is happy that he gets to spend the time with me. Can't wait to get back to work and on my feet!
Sunday was a little on the rough side. I slept for a lot of the day which really isn't rough but i got sick which is never fun. Think of it this way....Have u ever thrown up facing forward and not being able to look down at the toilet. Ya it doesn't work so well. So i ended my conversation on the telephone and promptly yelled for michael. He helped me off the couch and then looked at the situation of me standing by the toilet. I think he realized he would be the one cleaning it if i missed so he thought quickly and grabbed a bowel. Throwing up isn't so fun when your neck already hurts. I went back to bed and that was the extent of me going down stairs.
My aunt Karen visited which was nice to see a new face instead of the ceiling. She brought me some good ol fruit to help with the wonderful constipation issue. Man i've never been constipated and hope to not ever be again. I've been taking stool softeners like they are candy and that didn't do the trick either so yesterday while we were at the pharmacy we picked up some milk of mag. That stuff is amazingly chalky but just like the bottle says produces work in 30 mins to 6 hours. The rest of sunday was uneventful!
Monday 1 week after the accident
I got a little sleep do to the fact i have this new friend called valium. I slept like a champ until it was time for sid's report. I thought i could pull myself together enough to sit through a wild animal report that she has done so good on. So my wardrobe consists of things that don't go over my head. tube top or tank top? i found a matching sweat outfit (with a tank top under neath and a zip up jacket) and pulled my hair what i could reach back into a pony tail. Daily task such as brushing your teeth are challenges that sure make things interesting. I think michael got tired of wiping the sink off so he grabbed me a cup to spit in so it was a for sure hit. The neck collar guy came again and bought me the new style of the week. A miami J collar. That's right i'm sporting the new and improved hot shit on the block. It's silk instead of the rough foam. And for better immobilization the collar goes clear down to the middle of my chest. I now have a collection of collars if you would like to borrow one! Today the depression seems to be setting in. I feel very useless, depend on everyone to help me, and bored. I hate relying on someone to do everything.....sit me up, lay me down, shower me, food, pick up my tampon i dropped, u name it I need help with it. Michael expresses to me very well that he loves doing all these things for me and is happy that he gets to spend the time with me. Can't wait to get back to work and on my feet!
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Snow accident cont
Tuesday
I woke that morning sore every where. I needed a shower badly. Michael planned every move and placed every towel with love. A simple task is nearly impossible by your self with a broken neck. He helped me every inch of the way. After i took a nap i had an appt with the nuero surgeon who would tell me what my future really would be like. Michael carefully gets me to the car and takes me to my appt. where the nuero surgeon gracefully tells me i will be in this collar a long time and that i'm lucky to be a live. He tells me he will see me in a month and then we will know how the healing went wether i can continue with my collar or have surgery. He sends me out the door with more drugs and says good luck. I continue to sleep for the next 24 hours.
Wednesday
The pain is much worse today. The neuro surgeon took me off the motrin which helped with the other aches i was having. I take my first trip down the stairs. I sit with sid and michael for a short while and do homework. Sidney brings me some flowers and a cute card before she goes to dance. Michale is by my side every minute helping with all my needs. He truly is a blessing to me. I thank God for giving him to me and allowing me to live through such an awful fall.
Thursday
I can't sleep at night and I ache all over. Michael is there every few hours with pills to give me and the lack of sleep is getting to him too. He is still so patient with me and gentle with every move. I move down stairs for most of the day and it drains me to absolute tired. I have some great friends Brandy and Trina come to visit and paint my nails and keep my mind off things. Pain pills make you constipated a new concept i haven't personally had to deal with. not something i wanted on my to do list. Deal with that tomorrow! I'm hoping i can get some sleep tonight cause i'm beat
Friday
Still no sleep! Michael is drained he is keeping up with me and sid like a champ. He is making sure i eat so i don't get a belly ache with my pills and doing a wild animal project with sid. he really is the best thing in this world. Michael helps me take a bath thinking that will help my muscle and maybe i can take a nap after. I'm scared of falling....Ice, stairs, wet floor..anything! I've never feared much in my life but falling is on the top of the list right now.
Saturday
I finally got some sleep. Michael broght me a handy benadryl last night. We have had many visitors and phone calls. Which have been very helpful. I've been in bed most of today working on the computer trying to figure out how to blog. I did take my first adventure out that i can remember really. It wasn't the funest but it was need, a trip to the pharmacy for more drugs. My mom came for a short visit today. I played a video game with michael and watched a little TV. Watching TV is even difficult. I'm ready for bed and michael will be by my side every 2-4 hours helping me turn and giving me what i need.
I woke that morning sore every where. I needed a shower badly. Michael planned every move and placed every towel with love. A simple task is nearly impossible by your self with a broken neck. He helped me every inch of the way. After i took a nap i had an appt with the nuero surgeon who would tell me what my future really would be like. Michael carefully gets me to the car and takes me to my appt. where the nuero surgeon gracefully tells me i will be in this collar a long time and that i'm lucky to be a live. He tells me he will see me in a month and then we will know how the healing went wether i can continue with my collar or have surgery. He sends me out the door with more drugs and says good luck. I continue to sleep for the next 24 hours.
Wednesday
The pain is much worse today. The neuro surgeon took me off the motrin which helped with the other aches i was having. I take my first trip down the stairs. I sit with sid and michael for a short while and do homework. Sidney brings me some flowers and a cute card before she goes to dance. Michale is by my side every minute helping with all my needs. He truly is a blessing to me. I thank God for giving him to me and allowing me to live through such an awful fall.
Thursday
I can't sleep at night and I ache all over. Michael is there every few hours with pills to give me and the lack of sleep is getting to him too. He is still so patient with me and gentle with every move. I move down stairs for most of the day and it drains me to absolute tired. I have some great friends Brandy and Trina come to visit and paint my nails and keep my mind off things. Pain pills make you constipated a new concept i haven't personally had to deal with. not something i wanted on my to do list. Deal with that tomorrow! I'm hoping i can get some sleep tonight cause i'm beat
Friday
Still no sleep! Michael is drained he is keeping up with me and sid like a champ. He is making sure i eat so i don't get a belly ache with my pills and doing a wild animal project with sid. he really is the best thing in this world. Michael helps me take a bath thinking that will help my muscle and maybe i can take a nap after. I'm scared of falling....Ice, stairs, wet floor..anything! I've never feared much in my life but falling is on the top of the list right now.
Saturday
I finally got some sleep. Michael broght me a handy benadryl last night. We have had many visitors and phone calls. Which have been very helpful. I've been in bed most of today working on the computer trying to figure out how to blog. I did take my first adventure out that i can remember really. It wasn't the funest but it was need, a trip to the pharmacy for more drugs. My mom came for a short visit today. I played a video game with michael and watched a little TV. Watching TV is even difficult. I'm ready for bed and michael will be by my side every 2-4 hours helping me turn and giving me what i need.
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